I See Dead People (watching NASCAR)

Normally, most stories that I come across on the Yahoo page are boring. They’re about Justin Bieber and his woes, or Taylor Swift and about how allegedly fabulous she is, or that Wacky Tom Cruise. Today I came across one that was kind of fun… well, actually creepy, but fun, too.

Some lady named Linda Chase lived with this guy named Charles Zigler for 10 years. Anyway, Charlie died. I guess that Linda didn’t want to be alone because she just left him in his chair. For about 18 months she cleaned him and changed his clothes. According to her, he didn’t stink. She would talk to him and they would watch NASCAR. She said that he was the only guy who was ever nice to her and that she didn’t want to be alone (I’m guessing buy a dog or a cat lady. They’re good company. They actually move around and make noise and stuff).

Linda admitted to cashing his social security checks. I guess she didn’t want to use her own money to buy him new clothes and deodorant and stuff.

Zigler had family who eventually became concerned about him (after 18 months) and called the police. The police checked it out and found him in his chair. Linda said, “I’m probably going to prison”. IDK Linda. My guess is the nut house.

Hey Linda, change the TV to the NASCAR channel.

Zappy Birthday

Today is Abraham Zapruder’s birthday. He’s the guy who filmed the Kennedy assassination. He was born in 1905.

Zapruder was a manufacturer of women’s clothing. He co-founded Jennifer Juniors, inc. in 1949. The lady who stood behind him when he filmed the assassination was Marilyn Sitzman. She was one of his assistants. Zapruder had vertigo, so Marilyn stood behind Zapruder on the pedestal that extended from the retaining wall that was part of the John Neely Bryan pergola on the grassy knoll. She steadied him as he filmed.
Zapruder died in 1970 and Sitzman died in 1993

Next Stop, Randomville

Last night was the finale of Survivor. I must say that I’m kind of glad that it’s over. I didn’t really care for any of the people on the show this time.

America’s Got Talent starts tonight…or as I like to call it, America Ain’t Got No Mother F**kin’ Talent. It’s like Ted Mack’s Amateur Hour, only worse. I still watch it though. Kind of like the same way that I watch horrible car accidents on the freeway or people jumping out of burning buildings. This year is will be quit horrid. Why? Well, it’s bad enough that Howie Mandel is a judge, but now…ugh…Howard Stern is a judge.

I really need to finish The Evening News by Arthur Hailey. My voracity for reading comes in spurts. Sometimes, the desire just stalls for a while.

I’ve acquired 940 followers on Tumblr. I consider that a lot. I’m actually quite surprised that I’ve kept up with it for almost 2 years.

Five years ago my mother was buried the day after Mother’s Day. So, yesterday sucked. As does today.

On the Road, a movie based on the novel of the same name by Jack Kerouac, starts in a few weeks. It was one of those books that I actually remember reading. I remember how it made me feel while I was reading it. After I finished it I wanted to go on a road trip across the U.S. I made it as far as Memphis. My sojourn only lasted for the weekend. It was interesting, though. I can’t really go into all of the seedy details. Too lascivious.

I suppose that I’ve had quite a few ‘too lascivious to talk about’ adventures. Sometimes, when I think of them I cringe. Most of them occurred in Las Vegas. Sometimes it amazes me that I survived some of them. Especially the ones involving firearms and on one occasion, serial killer Andrew Cunanan.

Frid, Dixon, Dinner, Bones, Weather, Pollock and Bieber

1. The local news keeps flashing the blurb Actor Jonathan Frid dies. I hate to break the news to you ‘we are so behind the times local news’, but that was so one week ago. He died on the 14th. Why are you acting like it just happened? Maybe it’s because he’s from Canada and it takes a long time for news from ‘way up there’ to get ‘way down here’. IDK. Anyway, thanks for the belated heads up. What’s your next scrolling blurb headline?

2. Colton Dixon got booted from American Idol. I know. I can’t believe that I still watch that show. Last night on the elimination show, Kris Allen performed. He won AI about 2 or 3 years ago. He’s from my hometown of Jacksonville. He also went to the same college that I did. My sister loves him. I’m like, “eh, whatever”.
Personally, I think that Colton’s singing bordered on atrocious. That was especially evident when he sang his ‘I got eliminated’ song last night. It was awful. Sure, he was probably emotional, but still…
The American Idol judges told him that he is going to be a big star. The American Idol judges are liars.

3. I need to do something about changing my dinner eating times. I watch tv when I eat, and it seems like my evening meal is always timed perfectly with a Bones or CSI autopsy. Last week for instance, I was eating pizza while watching a smashed and dismembered body being picked up from the road with a spatula. The pizza and the body parts looked eerily similar. I was like, “ewww, that’s gross”.

4. Speaking of Bones, I was born on the exact same day as Hart Hanson, the creator of Bones. I was also born on the exact same day as Nana Visitor, best known for playing Kira Nerys in the television series Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. I was also born on Mick Jagger’s 14th birthday.
On the day that I was born Carlos Castillo Armas, dictator of Guatemala, was assassinated. He came to power in a CIA-orchestrated coup in 1954.
Anyway, here is what he looked like.

5. Here is the current weather forcast for my area.

6. Here is a painting that I did with my Jackson Pollock iphone app.

7. Here is a pic of me and Justin Bieber. I ran into him at the mall.

In Lieu of Something Important To Blog About

1. The number one search on my Yahoo was Miley Cyrus. Like an idiot I clicked on it. Apparently she was rushed to the hospital after cutting her finger while cooking and using a blender. She got stitches. Her rep said that she is “doing fine”. Really? Are you sure that she isn’t going to go into a coma or, even worse, die? Geeze Louise! It’s not like she got run over by a bus or something. She cut her finger. BIG DEAL! People do that every day.

2. Those American Idol judges really irk me. They are so noncommittal and wishy-washy. The expect you to be LaToya Jackson on the Psychic Hotline when it comes time to vote. They say, “Vote for the best”! Hmmmm…just who is the best? Please tell us. Don’t beat around the bush. If you don’t like a certain contestant just say, “America, so and so sucks. Don’t vote for them.” Problem solved.
P.S. – Why must Joshua Ledet sing every song like he’s possessed by the Holy Spirit?
P.S.S. – Why do I even watch this show???

3. The Nationals were the first MLB team to get to 10 wins. Yay! That’s my team. The Rangers also did it a few hours later.

4. The lady next door – who’s super-weird btw – is having a garage built. They’ve been working on it for TWO MONTHS. You need to hurry up and finish that shit, because I am sick on the banging and having to listen to mariachi music.

5. Yesterday, I came across what could possibly be the worst music video/song of all time. It’s atrocious. It’s even more hideous than the squacking and out-of-tune clarinets played by 11 and 12 year olds that I was subjected to on a daily basis when I taught Middle School Beginner Band years ago. It amazes me that this piece of crap was actually supervised by adults. As Dr. Smith from Lost in Space would say, “Oh the pain, the pain”!

They put Jack Kervorkian in prison for crimes less horrendous than this.

WordPress Theme Remorse

I thought about changing my WordPress theme to one of the MLB Baseball themes. I actually did it about an hour ago. Then I changed it back 2 minutes later. I get all angsty when I change my theme. It took me forever to decide on this one. Sometimes I’ll spend hours and hours testing all of the various WordPress themes, only to end up with the one that I originally had.

When I first started this blog I used the Twenty Ten Theme. I liked it okay. The print was actually big enough for me to see. I’m one of those people who is as blind as a bat and needs larger text when I read. When I discovered that it was the most popular theme, I decided to change it. I guess I just wanted to be different. IDK.

The thing about changing your theme is that, sometimes, it messes up the posts that you have already done. It might put the photos in a different spot or cause certain gifs not to work. Some of the paragraphs become misaligned and it just makes the whole post look odd. Kind of like you didn’t know what you were doing.

Is this REALLY the theme that I want to use?

Sometimes I’ll read someone’s blog and go, “Oh, I want that theme. It’s kind of cool”. So, I go and change it. Then 5 minutes later I hate it. Then I change it back.

Some people have had the same theme from day one. They never change, or even think about changing it. I kind of envy them. I wish that I could be more like that. Then I could spend more time thinking about things to blog about instead of thinking about what theme is the absolute perfect one for my blog; if there IS such a thing.

Presently, the theme that I use is called Selecta. As of 4/18/12 that’s what it is. If someone reads this later on down the line then it might be something completely different. That’s why I included the date.

Here is what Selecta’s Theme Showcase says about it.

With a featured posts slider on the front page, a wide, one-column template on image and video posts, and archives and search results displayed in gallery format, Selecta is well-suited for blogs that focus primarily on showcasing videos or images.

According to the theme stats, it’s the 89th most popular theme. I like it because of the color scheme options. I suppose that instead of trying to find a new theme that I could just change the color scheme on the Selecta theme.

I guess the reason that I am even talking about this is because I’m curious if anyone else has the same problem. Or is it just me?

Dude, you seriously need to chill about the theme. It's really not that big of a deal.

That Lazy Ass Pulitzer Board Couldn’t Even Pick a Fiction Winner. Whaddup With That?

I guess the Pulitzers were awarded yesterday. No prize was given for Fiction. I wonder why. There were some finalists, but nobody won. I don’t get it. Geesh, just pick one. How hard it that? Close your eyes and point. Or pick somebody out of a hat.

The last time that it happened that no one won for fiction was 1977. In that year, the fiction jury had recommended A River Runs Through It by Norman MacLean, but the Pulitzer Board just decided not to give it to anybody. Bitches.

This is an except from an article about there not being a Fiction winner this year (2012)

For fiction, the finalists, revealed at the same time as the award announcements, were Train Dreams by Denis Johnson (Farrar, Straus and Giroux), Swamplandia! by Karen Russell (Knopf), and The Pale King by David Foster Wallace (Little, Brown). But the judges, for only the ninth time since the prize’s inception in 1918, did not award a winner. Susan Larson, Maureen Corrigan, and Michael Cunningham were this year’s fiction jury.

 Larson, interviewed on NPR’s Morning Edition, stated that the jury was “shocked, angry, and very disappointed” that the Pulitzer board did not select a winner. In the interview, Larson said she and her two fellow jurors read over 300 books for the prize and that the board’s deliberations “are confidential and they don’t give us feedback.” The hope now, Larson said, is that people will now “read three books instead of one.”

I personally think that a few crappy books have won in the past, so why should this year be any different? Beats me.

There was also no award given in Editorial Writing.

The upside I guess is that, on my quest to read all of the Pulitzer Fiction winners, I have one less to read.

I Used To Be A Clackhead

When I was a kid, way back in the dinosaur days, we didn’t have computers or the internet or video games or cell phones or blah blah cool stuff blah blah. We had toys and records. That’s it. Oh yeah, and tv with 3 channels. Sometimes 4. There was no cable. There was this thing called UHF, but it never worked in our house. I don’t know why.

Sometimes I forget that I haven’t always had the modern electronic amenities. Not until I go back and look at old home movies. Not the kind on camcorder or video camera either. We had Super 8. You had to send them off to get developed and then watch them on a projector.

A lot of the toys that I had as a kid were dangerous. They could hurt you. Eventually, parents got sick of taking their kids to the emergency room or having to bury them, and complained. Enough of them must have complained because toys are supposedly safer now. Nowadays, if a kid gets hurt from a toy, it’s the toy company’s fault and they can be sued. Not so when I was a kid. If you got injured then it was your fault. It wasn’t even your parents fault.

I remember when I was about 12 or 13, kids were being hurt and permantly disabled because of Clackers. Clackers had a variety of names, i.e. Ker-Bangers. Where I lived they were called Clackers. Clackers were 2 hard plastic balls that were attached to a string. You would swing the string up and down so that the balls would bang against each other. They would make a CLACKING sound.

*CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK *

We would try to clack along in tempo to whatever song was on the radio. Sometimes the balls would chip or shatter, sending pieces of hard acrylic flying. If you got TOO crazy, one of the clacker balls might bonk you upside of the head. I was victim to both kinds of injuries. The flying shards of glass AND the bonks. The bonks usually produced huge purple knots on the forehead.

Eventually, Clackers were discontinued. They resurfaced in the 90s, only this time they were all plastic. There was no string. The handles were plastic triangles, which made it virtually impossible for the balls to become errant. What fun is that?

Another toy that left me with scars was those Thingmaker sets. I had the Creepy Crawlers, Creeple People and the Fighting Men. Creepy Crawlers is probably the best known of all the sets.

How it worked was this; You would put the plasticgoop in a metal bug mold. Plasticgoop was some kind of chemical liquid junk made out of I don’t know what. You would then put the mold on top of an electric hot plate oven. You would let it set on the oven for a while and then take it off. Let if cool, and VOILA!, a rubber bug. Or Soldier. Or whatever it was that came out of the mold you used.

Anyway, you could get burned if you touched the hot molds. Which I always did. Or you could get burned by hot plasticgoop. Which hurt like hell.  One time my thingmaker oven quit working, so I started to take it apart. All while it was still plugged in.

In the early 90s, just like Clackers, Creepy Crawlers and all of its little Thingmaker friends made a brief comeback. This time with stricter safety regulations. The newer sets used high-powered light bulbs (like Easy Bake Oven), and had a heat triggered door that remained closed until it was sufficiently cooled.

From what I understand, Creepy Crawlers have made a comeback this Spring. Apparently, they are selling them again.

I should get one, huh.

P.S. BRING BACK CLACKERS!!!