Today is Feb. 29. That’s always been a strange day for me. It’s kind of like some weird time warp day. I keep thinking that it’s really supposed to be March 1 and that I’m stuck in some bizarre non-existant day. Most people call it Leap Day, but I have come to call it Langolier Day (The Langoliers is the first story in the Four Past Midnight book by Steven King. It was made into a 2 part movie in ’95).
The Langoliers are these hairy pac-man-like monsters with razor sharp teeth that eat up the past. If you somehow get stuck in that stagnant past, via some kind of time rip, then you will eventually get eaten by the Langoliers. It’s all very creepy. In the tv movie the Langoliers ate Bronson Pinchot, who played Balki on Perfect Strangers.
Anyway, this day gives me a very uneasy, dystopic feeling. The fact that we are currently under a tornado watch doesn’t in the least bit help quell my feeling of uneasiness. It adds to it. I’m sure that it’s all just my imagination. But, when you think about it, tornadoes are kind of like Langoliers. They eat up everything in their path. And, if there is the potential for them to happen on what I consider to be a fake made-up day, then that just makes it that more uber-creepy.
Before I called Feb. 29th Langolier Day I called it Twilight Zone day. I mean, if any kind of weird Twilight Zone shit is going to happen, then it’s going to happen on that day.
My grandmother Lois (I’m related to the infamous outlaws The Dalton Gang because of her), my mom’s mother, died on the exact same day as Anna Nicole Smith. That’s not the weird part. It’s just a reference point. I suppose that everybody dies on the same day as at least one famous person. No, the weird part is that there is no year of death on her tombstone. It just says:
That’s it. No year of death. Like she’s a zombie or something; or one of those Poltergeist people stuck in the tv. I keep thinking that the cemetery people are going to eventually fix it. So far they haven’t. If I ever bring it up during some rare family gathering they just look at me and shrug their shoulders. Like it’s not a big deal. The last time I was at Bayou Meto Cemetery I was tempted to pick up a rock and carve it in there myself. But, I didn’t do it. I figured that I would either get arrested or, like Amy Irving in Carrie, have some zombie arm suddenly come out of the ground and grab me. Shudder.
One time I took a picture of her tombstone and uploaded it to my computer. I tried to find it, but somehow it has mysteriously disappeared.
Anyway, if Lois is going to make any kind of spectral appearance, it’s going to be today.
Years that are evenly divisible by 100 do not contain a leap day, with the exception of years that are evenly divisible by 400, which do contain a leap day; thus 1900 did not contain a leap day while 2000 did.
That’s right. Make the day that much more confusing.