Play by Play of the Rangers/White Sox Game on 4/06

Chicago – Top of 1st SCORE
Colby Lewis pitching for Texas CHW TEX
A De Aza singled to center. 0 0
B Morel struck out swinging. 0 0
A De Aza caught stealing second, catcher to shortstop. 0 0
A Dunn walked. 0 0
P Konerko fouled out to first. 0 0
0 Runs, 1 Hits, 0 Errors

Texas – Bottom of 1st

John Danks pitching for Chicago CHW TEX
I Kinsler doubled to left. 0 0
E Andrus sacrificed to pitcher, I Kinsler to third. 0 0
J Hamilton hit sacrifice fly to center, I Kinsler scored. 0 1
A Beltre flied out to center. 0 1
1 Runs, 1 Hits, 0 Errors

Chicago – Top of 2nd

Colby Lewis pitching for Texas CHW TEX
A Pierzynski popped out to second. 0 1
A Rios popped out to shortstop. 0 1
A Ramirez struck out swinging. 0 1
0 Runs, 0 Hits, 0 Errors

Texas – Bottom of 2nd

John Danks pitching for Chicago CHW TEX
M Young flied out to center. 0 1
N Cruz flied out to right. 0 1
M Napoli struck out swinging. 0 1
0 Runs, 0 Hits, 0 Errors

Chicago – Top of 3rd

Colby Lewis pitching for Texas CHW TEX
D Viciedo doubled to deep center. 0 1
G Beckham struck out looking. 0 1
A De Aza struck out swinging. 0 1
B Morel struck out looking. 0 1
0 Runs, 1 Hits, 0 Errors

Texas – Bottom of 3rd

John Danks pitching for Chicago CHW TEX
Y Torrealba grounded out to pitcher. 0 1
D Murphy struck out swinging. 0 1
I Kinsler homered to left (375 feet). 0 2
E Andrus flied out to left. 0 2
1 Runs, 1 Hits, 0 Errors

Chicago – Top of 4th

Colby Lewis pitching for Texas CHW TEX
A Dunn struck out swinging. 0 2
P Konerko singled to shallow center. 0 2
A Pierzynski singled to center, P Konerko to second. 0 2
A Rios flied out to right. 0 2
A Ramirez struck out swinging. 0 2
0 Runs, 2 Hits, 0 Errors

Texas – Bottom of 4th

John Danks pitching for Chicago CHW TEX
J Hamilton singled to center. 0 2
A Beltre flied out to center. 0 2
M Young flied out to right. 0 2
N Cruz struck out swinging, N Cruz safe at first on wild pitch by Joh Danks, J Hamilton to second. 0 2
M Napoli struck out swinging. 0 2
0 Runs, 1 Hits, 0 Errors

Chicago – Top of 5th

Colby Lewis pitching for Texas CHW TEX
D Viciedo flied out to right. 0 2
G Beckham singled to right. 0 2
A De Aza lined out to shortstop. 0 2
B Morel struck out swinging. 0 2
0 Runs, 1 Hits, 0 Errors

Texas – Bottom of 5th

John Danks pitching for Chicago CHW TEX
Y Torrealba grounded out to third. 0 2
D Murphy singled to left. 0 2
I Kinsler bunt grounded out to pitcher, D Murphy to second. 0 2
E Andrus grounded out to third. 0 2
0 Runs, 1 Hits, 0 Errors

Chicago – Top of 6th

Colby Lewis pitching for Texas CHW TEX
A Dunn homered to right (449 feet). 1 2
P Konerko grounded out to third. 1 2
A Pierzynski flied out to right. 1 2
A Rios hit by pitch. 1 2
A Ramirez singled to center, A Rios scored, A Ramirez to second advancing on throw. 2 2
D Viciedo struck out looking. 2 2
2 Runs, 2 Hits, 0 Errors

Texas – Bottom of 6th

John Danks pitching for Chicago CHW TEX
J Hamilton singled to left center. 2 2
A Beltre grounded out to third, J Hamilton to second. 2 2
M Young singled to left, J Hamilton scored. 2 3
N Cruz struck out swinging. 2 3
M Napoli struck out swinging. 2 3
1 Runs, 2 Hits, 0 Errors

Chicago – Top of 7th

Alexi Ogando pitching for Texas CHW TEX
A Ogando relieved C Lewis. 2 3
G Beckham struck out swinging. 2 3
A De Aza struck out swinging. 2 3
B Morel struck out swinging. 2 3
0 Runs, 0 Hits, 0 Errors

Texas – Bottom of 7th

Addison Reed pitching for Chicago CHW TEX
A Reed relieved Joh Danks. 2 3
Y Torrealba flied out to right. 2 3
D Murphy struck out looking. 2 3
I Kinsler lined out to right. 2 3
0 Runs, 0 Hits, 0 Errors

Chicago – Top of 8th

Mike Adams pitching for Texas CHW TEX
J Hamilton in left field. 2 3
C Gentry in center field. 2 3
M Adams relieved A Ogando. 2 3
A Dunn lined out to first. 2 3
P Konerko singled to center. 2 3
B Lillibridge ran for P Konerko. 2 3
A Pierzynski grounded out to shortstop, B Lillibridge to second. 2 3
A Rios grounded out to first. 2 3
0 Runs, 1 Hits, 0 Errors

Texas – Bottom of 8th

Matt Thornton pitching for Chicago CHW TEX
B Lillibridge at first base. 2 3
M Thornton relieved A Reed. 2 3
E Andrus safe at first on error by third baseman B Morel. 2 3
J Hamilton popped out to shortstop. 2 3
A Beltre popped out to second. 2 3
M Young flied out to right. 2 3
0 Runs, 0 Hits, 1 Errors

Chicago – Top of 9th

Joe Nathan pitching for Texas CHW TEX
J Nathan relieved M Adams. 2 3
A Ramirez grounded out to shortstop. 2 3
D Viciedo flied out to right. 2 3
G Beckham struck out looking. 2 3
0 Runs, 0 Hits, 0 Errors

Rangers 3 White Sox 2

You Know You’ve Watched Too Much TV When…

...and the potato people have eyes ALL over their bodies.

I was watching some tv show the other night – it could have been Hawaii Five-0, but I’m not really sure. Anyway, somebody was giving out a phone number for some reason. It was 555-6161. I was like, “Hey, that’s the phone number that Bobby calls on the Brady Bunch when he’s trying to get on the Kartoon King show so that he can be in that ice cream eating contest”. It was also the Brady’s HOME phone number in one or two of the other episodes. They also had another phone number. It was either 867-0799 or 876-0799. I can’t remember which one it was. Anyway, that was the number the Jan gave when she called the operator and asked her to call back to see if their phone was working properly in the George Glass/ Jan’s fake made-up boyfriend episode of the BB.

This is creepy. On the Davy Jones (RIP) episode of the BB, Marcia goes to the Hank Colman Show at the tv studio because she thinks that Davy Jones is there. In the Slumber Party episode of the BB, when they are playing Truth or Dare, one of the girls asks another girl is she has ever been kissed by Hank Colman. Ewww. Inappropriate.

Another observation. The saleswoman who sells Jan the black wig in that one episode where Jan buys the black wig because she’s sick of looking like Marcia and Cindy is the same lady who is Marcia’s teacher in the Davy Jones episode. She must have been moonlighting or something. IDK.

Here’s another thing. In the Marcia makes over Molly episode (My Fair Opponent), Marcia refers to some girl as Patty Hobart, and Molly refers to her as Sally Hobart. I’m like, “Well, is it Patty or is it Sally”? Pick a name and stick with it. Gee whiz people.

Also, in that Romeo and Juliet episode where Marcia gets the role of Juliet and turns into an obnoxious prima donna, Jan and Peter get the roles of palace guards. Their line is “Hark, who goes there’?  You know what? I don’t ever remember that being in Romeo and Juliet. And I’ve read it like 5 times. Way to go BB writers. Teach kids incorrect Shakespeare why don’t you.

Mrs. Denton Reviews “The Towering Inferno”

Today I thought that I would review a movie. But, not one of the new ones. Everybody’s seen those. No, I decided to pick one from back in the dinosaur days, even before disco was popular. I thought and thought and thought and finally decided on The Towering Inferno.

The Towering Inferno? What’s that about?

Well, here’s a brief synopsis:
It’s 1974 and a really big building catches on fire and a bunch of people get burned up. They eventually put the fire out by blowing up the water tanks on the gazillionth floor.

Even though I like the movie I do have some criticisms about it.

1. There’s just too many damned people in the movie.
Sure they’re all big stars and stuff, but how on earth am I supposed to keep up with everybody?

Okay, so is that the Mayor or the Bell Boy?
Is that the Mayor’s wife or the nurse from “The Poseidon Adventure”? Oh wait, it’s the same person.
Is that the Fire Chief or the Architect?
What’s Bobby Brady doing is this movie?

2. Robert Wagner and Robert Vaughn in the same movie is confusing.

I am Robert Wagner.

I always thought they were the same person. Now, it’s like, “Oh wait, they’re different people”. It’s NOT like the Patty Duke Show with identical cousins who are actually the same person, but not really. One was The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and the other was Jonathan Hart.

and I am Robert Vaughn

Anyway, they both die. Robert Wagner is too busy screwing that chick who plays Stephanie Forester on “The Bold and the Beautiful” (I forget her name), and doesn’t notice the smoke. When he does notice, it’s too late. He gets burned up trying to go for help. And Robert Vaughn. What a dumb ass! He tries to get Richard Chamberlain out of the rescue chair because it’s going to fall. Guess what? It falls, and so does Robert Vaughn. See ya. That’s what you get for trying to save the guy who was in charge of installing the faulty wiring that started the fire in the first place. Duh.

3. O.J. Simpson is in it.
If there’s one thing that the casting director of the movie WAS NOT, it’s prescient.

4. The people in the movie continually make stupid, dumbass decisions.

There’s a fire behind that door. Let me OPEN it.
A helicoper is about to crash on the roof. Let me run TOWARD it.
I smell smoke. Let me hide UNDER the bed.
The Fire Chief says that the building is on fire. As the owner of the building let me DENY that.

5. Jack Collins, the guy who played Mr. Brady’s boss, Mr. Phillips, on The Brady Bunch, is in it.

Well, hells bells Loretta, now I’m totally confused. A year ago you were threatening to fire Greg from his after school architectural job just because he lost some stupid blue prints that fell out of a delivery cylinder – which, by the way, was the same ugly-ass yellow cylinder that Jan lost at King’s Island Amusement Park – and NOW you’re the Mayor of San Francisco. I mean, the whole time I was watching the movie I kept thinking, Robert Reed should be the architect, not Paul Newman. Add Mike Lookinland, the kid who played Bobby Brady into the mix, and the whole Brady Bunch/Towering Inferno connection is just as confusing as when Mr. and Mrs. Howell from Gilligan’s Island showed up on The Brady Bunch. Seriously…first Mr. Howell is the old prospector that the Brady’s meet when they go to the Grand Canyon and then he shows up as Mr. Brady’s boss in the last season. That must have been when Mr. Brady’s REAL boss, Mr. Phillips, became Mayor of San Francisco.

Overall, I guess you could say that they movie was pretty good. I mean, it WAS nominated for Best Picture at the 47th Academy Awards. It lost to The Godfather Part II. As did Fred Astaire, who survived the inferno. He lost Best Supporting Actor to Robert DeNiro (The Godfather Part II). It DID, however, win Best Film Editing and Best Original Song. The other songs must have been really horrible because We May Never Love Like This Again SUCKED.

Anyway, there you have it. My review.

It’s a Camera, It’s a Camcorder, It’s Confusion

Three years ago I went to Washington D.C. for my 51st birthday. I had never been. In addition to U.S. History, I am also interested in art, and a lot of my favorite artwork is housed in the various Smithsonian museums.

One of the paintings that I really wanted to see was Luncheon of the Boating Party, or, in French Le déjeuner des canotiers. It’s on display at The Phillips Collection, an art museum founded by Duncan Phillips in 1921, and located in the Dupont Circle neighborhood of Washington D.C. It was painted by Renoir. I like the painting so much that I even know the names of all of the people who are in it. I won’t name them here because, well…saying that you’re kind of a dorky nerd is one thing, but proving it is quite another.

When I first saw it I was like, “Wow, that’s kind of big! Bigger than I thought”. Who would have guessed that 129.9 cm × 172.7 cm was actually that large? Not me. I’m not really good at figuring out how big something is by just seeing some numbers on a page. Not to mention the fact that it’s in centimeters and I live in the U.S., where we do inches.

Anyway, while I was there I wanted to take a picture of it. I asked the security guard and he said that it was okay. I had been admonished the day before because I was snapping away at a temporary Alexander Caulder exhibit. The sign above the entrance to the exhibit had said NO PHOTOS, but somehow I missed it. So, I got in trouble. Oops, my bad.

While I was taking pictures of Le déjeuner des canotiers, there was a kid next to me who had a video camera. He looked like he was about 13 or 14.  He had the lense up to his eye. The security guard ran over and informed the kid that ‘while pictures with no flash were allowed , video cameras were not’.

“I’m not filming”, the kid said. “I’m taking pictures”.
“That looks like a video camera to me”, the guard said.

Of course I had to come to the kid’s defense, so I opened my big mouth and chimed in.

“Most video cameras have a still picture feature”, I said. ‘They can take pictures as well as video”. “Just like most digital cameras”, I said as I held mine up, “can shoot video”.

He looked at the kid’s camcorder and then at my camera. He had a confused look on his face. Kind of like he didn’t know if he was looking at a swimming pool or a cement pond.

“I’m sorry”, he said. “Video Cameras are not allowed”.

I didn’t want to argue with the guy. I didn’t want to get kicked out. I hadn’t seen the Mark Rothko or Mondrian stuff yet.
I was kind of surprised that the camera/video camera issue hadn’t been resolved. IDK. Maybe the guy was new. Or maybe it HAD been resolved and this was just how they dealt with it. 

It all kind of makes me miss the old days. You know, when stuff just did one thing. Back when you just took a polaroid shot and stuck it in a scrapbook. Now, everything is more ambiguous and confusing. Digital this. Digital that. This feature. That feature. Log-in. Upload. Resize.  And, even if you DO know how something works, you have to try to explain it to somebody who doesn’t. Aargh.

My Game Show Journey or “I Want To Be Just Like Charles van Doren, Only Without the Cheating Part”.

I used to try out for game shows all the time. After I saw that movie Quiz Show back in the mid 90s I decided “Hey, I want to do that! I want to be on a game show. I want to be just like Charles van Doren, only without the cheating part”. The problem however was that I really wasn’t that smart. Well, not when it came to trivia anyway. But, I was determined to not let that stop me. So, I started studying. All the time. I started recording Jeopardy and Who Wants To Be a Millionaire. I memorized all of the answers. I bought just about every trivia book that my local Borders had. I made flash cards. I played the NTN game at TGIFridays. I became obsessed.

Over the course of 10 years I tried out for every game show that was holding auditions in Las Vegas. That’s where I lived at the time. Las Vegas. The city of glitz and glamour and game show tryouts. After about 20 tryouts with shows like Jeopardy, Who Wants To Be a Millionaire, Wheel of Fortune, Deal or no Deal, and whatever other game show came to town to conduct auditions, I eventually got selected to appear on a new show called The Rich List. I was super-excited. I was also scared. Was I really smart enough to be on a game show? Would I goof up and look like a big idiot on national television? Come to find out, just getting to the studio was more difficult that actually being on the show itself.

After I had taken the written test, passed, did an on camera interview and played a mock game of the show, David, one of the producers of The Rich List, came up to me as I was leaving and told me that he really liked me. He said that he was going to show my interview to another one of the producers and try to get me on the show. I immediately went home and started cramming like crazy. I started getting up at 4:30 am every day to study. The Rich List was a list- based trivia show. The idea was to try to name as many items in a specific list as you could; i.e., Countries that start with a specific letter, Elvis Presley’s no.1 hits, Superbowl winners, Academy Award winning movies, etc. I tried to memorize every list that I could find; or at least ones that I thought might appear on the show.

One day, about 3 weeks after I had tried out, I had just stepped off of the number 104 Valley View bus when I got the call from the show. About a year before my car had been smashed up on the freeway when I semi jack-knifed during a thunderstorm, so I had decided to remain peripatetic for a while. The woman on the phone informed me that I had been chosen for the show. She asked my if I had a pen because she had all kinds on information that I needed to write down. With most game shows you have to pay your own way and get your own hotel room, but this show was different. They were actually flying me there and putting me up in a hotel room.

As she was going me the information – when my flight left, what I should and shouldn’t wear, etc. –  I was writing it down in the back of a trivia book that I had been studying from. My flight was to leave for the Bob Hope Airport in Studio City on Sept. 11, 2006. In keeping with the theme of the show, here is a list of difficulties I experienced along the way.

  1. When I tried to pick up my ticket at the airport I found out that my flight hadn’t even been booked yet. The person responsible for booking my flight had goofed up. I went ahead and paid for the ticket myself (I was later reimbursed).
  2. Two hours before my flight was supposed to leave I discovered that it had been cancelled. They exchanged my ticket for an earlier flight. I called the lady from the show who had been providing me with all of the information and explained the situation. She told me to call her when I got there.
  3. Airport Security confiscated my phone. It was one of those big ass pay-as-you-go phones. It was held together with scotch tape because I had dropped it so many times. Anyway, I guess they thought it was a bomb or something. They took it apart, dusted it with some black powder and questioned me about it. After about 15 minutes I was able to convince them that it was just a ghetto ass phone held together with tape. Lucky for me it still worked when they gave it back.
  4. Right under the terminal sign is where I stood while I waited for them to come pick me up.

    4. When I arrived at Bob Hope Airport and called that lady back, she told me to keep an eye out for a black SUV. I stood by the curb and waited. An hour later a black SUV with a young Asian girl hanging out of the passenger side window showed up. She was holding up a placard with my name on it. I got in. I can’t remember the driver’s name, but he drove me to the studio. I was taken to what looked like an underground bunker. I spent 4 hours, in a big room with ugly green concrete walls that was sectioned off into 6 x 6 squares with black curtains that hung from the ceiling, signing contracts. After signing the contracts the other contestants and I were informed of the rules of the game and we watched a British version of the show. We were all still sectioned off in our hanging black curtain squares. They had lifted one side of our specific area so that we could see the tv. After that there was a question and answer period. I remember thinking, “OMG, I hope that the people that I compete against on the show are as stupid as these questions they are asking!” 

  5. When I was finally checked into my hotel, the Sportsman’s Lodge in Studio City. I was informed by Chakira (I know, that’s what I said), the girl who had waved the placard with my name on it out of the passenger side window, that I was sequestered. Sequestered? Yeah, sequestered. I was not allowed to leave my room for any reason. They didn’t want me running into any of the other contestants who were to appear on the show. Chakira also alluded to the fact that it was to prevent any suspicion of me receiving the questions or answers beforehand from someone who might be connected with the show. Really lady? Do I LOOK like Charles van Doren?
  6. Before Chakira left me on my own, she told me that I would get a call later that night informing me of my call time (when I should be ready and standing in the lobby waiting for someone to come pick me up and take me to the studio). When I first got the call they said to be ready at 7:30 am. They called 15 minutes later and said that it had been changed to 8:00 pm. Then they called about 30 minutes later and said 7:15 pm. I ended up getting 7 calls that night. The last 3 calls started with, “Bob, I am so sorry. I promise that this is the last time that we will be calling you tonight”. I didn’t really get any sleep that night. Anyway, my final call time ended up being 7:00 pm.
  7. The next day, when I was being driven to the studio, the driver went the wrong way. We ended up at an exit gate. The driver spent 10 minutes arguing with the guard. He finally let us in.
  8. While I was in my dressing room, waiting for it to be my turn on the show, I watched 3 episodes being taped.from a tv monitor that was in the room. During that time I ate all of the candy, danish and snacks that had been provided and threw up. The wardrobe lady came in and made me change my tie. She said that it was too ‘busy’ and would strobe on camera. The make-up lady came in on 3 separate occasions to powder my shiny forehead. It was the only make-up that was applied to me.

Eventually I got a knock on my door and was informed that they were ready for me. They partnered my with a girl named Jessica, a 24 year old nanny, and we ended up becoming 3 time champions. I think I’ll save the details on how we did it for another post. Anyway, The Rich List was cancelled after only 1 episode, so my episodes never aired. That’s okay though. I still got my winnings. And I got to remain anonymous.

I guess the moral of the story is that movies really CAN change your life.