The Like Button Poem

I could do a blog from Mars,
Or from the twinkly, sparkly stars,
It doesn’t matter where I ares,
Somehow you’re going to find me and push the muther frickin’ like button.

I guess you like me really lots,
I bet your blog name ends with ‘bots’ (or jamcracker)
I want to bang my head with pots (or a Graham Cracker),
Because every time I do a muther frickin’ blog post your avatar pops up

I could blog about Justin Bieber,
Or Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever,
Or an episode of Leave it to Beaver,
Guess what? You’re going to like it; oh, the interests you have.

You must have a magic potion,
Transcending the computer ocean,
I bet you dance the locomotion,
While pushing the like button on every single one of my blog posts.

I guess you want me to check out your site,
You’ve engineered it completely right,
To find your way every day and night,
To my muther frinkin’ blog that I want to cancel because you are beginning to annoy me.

I can tell you here and now,
I’d bet the farmhouse and the cow,
I’d even throw in the plow,
That as soon as I push the publish button, 1 minutes later you’ll be the first muther frickin’ like.

Does Anybody Really Have a Favorite Anything?

Last night, I tried to think of my favorite poem, but couldn’t. Not because I couldn’t remember how to recite it, but because I don’t think I have one. Does anybody REALLY have a favorite anything? I don’t know. Sometimes I think I do but then a week later it’s not my favorite anymore.

Take music, for instance. I get so confused when people ask me, “What’s your favorite song”? Hell, I don’t know. Favorite songs change all of the time. If they didn’t, then mine would still be Little Brown Jug as played by a bunch of 11 and 12 year olds when I was in 6th grade beginner band.

Now that I have inserted the sheet music into the post, I can’t get the stupid song out of my head.

I’ve had so many favorite songs over the course of my life. All favorites for various reasons.

Here is a partial list of songs that have been my ‘favorite’:

Never Been to Spain by Three Dog Night
Heartbeat, it’s a Lovebeat by The Defranco Family
Torture by The Jacksons
When the Rain Begins to Fall by Jermaine Jackson and Pia Zadora
Poetry Man by Phoebe Snow
Loving You by Minnie Riperton
Me and Mrs. Jones by Billy Paul
Mashed Potato Time by Dee Dee Sharp
Back to Black by Amy Winehouse
Keep Your Hands Off My Baby by Little Eva
Hat’s off to Larry by Del Shannon
Music to Watch Girls By by The Bob Crewe Generation

All of the above songs were songs that were, at one point in my life, played ad nauseum for days, and in some cases weeks, on either a record player, cassette recorder, CD player or ipod.

Of course, those are mostly pop songs. I also have a similar list for classical and jazz.

What about color? I shouldn’t be too difficult to have a favorite color.

Well, no. Not if you limit it to the colors in that basic 8 color crayon box.

If that’s the case then my favorite is blue.

However, with the exception of black and red, every one of the remaining 6 has been my favorite at one point.
When I was a kid, it was green. Then my sister told me that green was stupid so I changed it to purple. Then Barney the Dinosaur came along, so I changed it to orange. Then I learned that orange was the favorite color of serial killers, so I changed it to yellow. Then yellow showed up at the top of a ‘most boring colors in the world’ list, so I changed it to brown. I don’t remember why I stopped liking brown.

Anyway, now it’s blue. It has been for about 2 years.

I don't know! Just BLUE!!!

I supposed the next question would be “What shade of blue“?
Air Force Blue, Azure, Baby blue, Blue celeste, Blue-green, Cerulean, Cobalt Blue, Cyan, Deep sky blue, Dodger Blue, Electric blue, Green-blue, Indigo, Midnight blue, Navy blue, Periwinkle, Persian blue, Phthalo blue, Prussian blue, Royal blue, Smalt, Steel blue, teal, Tiffany blue, Turquoise, Ultramarine, Zaffre?

What about favorite movie?

Well, at one point it was Meet Me in St. Louis. Then it was Night of the Living Dead. Then it was Quiz Show. Then it was Now, Voyager. Then is was Night of the Living Dead again.

So, yeah. Just pick one of those.

Favorite Artist?

Another impossible task. Sometimes I think that I like everybody. Every artist. Every work of art. Every painting.

What about styles of art?

Academic Art
The American Scene
Art Deco
Art Nouveau
Arte Povera
The Arts & Crafts Movement
The Ashcan School
The Barbizon School
Baroque Art
Byzantine Art
Camden Town Group
Contemporary Realism
Der Blaue Reiter
Die Brücke
Die Neue Sachlichkeit
Entartete Kunst
Golden Age of Illustration
Gothic Art
The Group Of Seven
The Harlem Renaissance
The Hudson River School
Magic Realism
Les Nabis
Op Art
Pop Art
The Pre-Raphaelites
The Renaissance
Early Renaissance
High Renaissance
Northern Renaissance
The Rococo Style
The Sensation Show
Social Realism

Again, I like it all. No absolute favorite.

Here I am back where I started. Poetry. Do I have a favorite poem? I’m thinking that it’s a poem by Emily Dickinson.

One need not be a chamber to be haunted,
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place.

Far safer, of a midnight meeting
External ghost,
Than an interior confronting
That whiter host.

Far safer through an Abbey gallop,
The stones achase,
Than, moonless, one’s own self encounter
In lonesome place.

Ourself, behind ourself concealed,
Should startle most;
Assassin, hid in our apartment,
Be horror’s least.

The prudent carries a revolver,
He bolts the door,
O’erlooking a superior spectre
More near.

Emily Dickinson

Well, at one point it was. It might still be. I’m not really sure.

Anyway, kudos to anyone who can pick a favorite anything and stick with it. I sure can’t.